The Steve Harvey Lifetime Achievement Awards @ Union Hall

In a gala celebrating the achievements of media personality Steve Harvey (Milly Tamarez) takes a look at his past as a Talk show host, sitcom star, Miss Universe announcer and lecturer and begs the question "Should we actually be celebrating this man?" (Answer: No).

Directed by Alexis Pereira

Hosted by Karolena Theresa

Featuring RJ O'Brien, Bailey Edwards, Sam Naismith, Cynia Barnwell, Nadia Iqbal, and Kyle Harris

Stand Up by Larry Owens and Shalewa Sharpe

Hollywood Paws @ UCBT Hell's Kitchen

The two best animal agents in Hollywood who just lost their biggest client, ZuZu the Horse. Devastated and desperate, brothers and cocaine addicts Richard and Dickard Bust must use every trick in the book to find the next top animal actor.

Baltimore Improv Festival

VAREJAO (NYC): A comedy team based in New York City. They are all regular performers at the UCB Theatre, where they perform on Harold Night, Airwolf, Asian AF and Hollywood Paws. Other credits include Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Russian Doll, College Humor and The New Yorker.

Sam & Ben at UCBT's I'm Cool Showcase

The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre presents a buffet sampling of the best and brightest performing their funniest stuff... just because they're cool.   Come check it out and be cool too. Cool? Cool.

Thursday, March 21 2019
7:30pm
UCBT Hell's Kitchen
555 W 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036

Sick Bro

11/12 9:30 @ THE PIT

Join Sam Naismith (Funny or Die, UCB), Kate Sisk (The Onion, UCB) and more wicked comedians as they do some bomb-ass, kick-flipping sets at NYC's most tizight stand-up showcase.

Detective Sully

Another plane has crashed into the Hudson River. Can Captain Sully get to the bottom of the mystery before it’s too late?

Written by Alexis Pereira

Directed by Luke Koz

Starring
Alexis Pereira
Megan Kingsbury
Francis Hamilton
Suni Reyes
Andy Bustillos
Nikita Burdein
Sam Naismith
Adrian Frimpong
Justin Catchens

7:30 UCB Hell’s Kitchen.

Werewolf Live!

The rules of Werewolf are simple: Werewolves try to kill the villagers. Villagers try to kill the werewolves. That's it.

 

Watch as UCB's top comedians play the party game Werewolf, live on stage. 

 

Hosted by Sam Naismith, Will Stephen, Zach Cherry, Paul Laudiero

Roast of Your 15 Year Old Self

PHILLY

An NYC classic is coming to Philly for one night only! Strap in and listen to these comics roast the one person that everybody loves to hate: themselves at 15. The Roast of Your 15 Year Old Self is a not-so-safe space where comics expose the shitty, horrifying teenager that made them into a shitty, horrifying adult.

Featuring;
Sam Naismith
Max Knoblauch
Michael S. Watkins
Cassandra Dee

Hosted by Alise Morales

A Big Dumb Thing

Every month Jackie Jennings and James Dwyer spend too much time on a big, dumb idea for a show that they will perform once and then never again. 

Cool Shit / Weird Shit

Every month is a brand new late night conceptual comedy show in which the guests are encouraged to do things that are far from your typical stand up, sketch, or improv. Whether it's playing the Beatles "Abbey Road" all the way through and having comedians perform visual acts to each song, a show where all the material is catered to one of the host's Dad, or a show where each performer has to face their greatest fear live on stage

Lloyd Night

Come see longform improv from NYC's top up-and-coming improv stars. At the show, three Lloyd Teams will perform Harolds, a 30 minute improv structure pioneered by Del Close.

Animal Show

The comedy community comes together for 'Animal Show', a monthly standup show featuring some of Brooklyn's best. 

Hosted by Maya Sharma (Ladies Who Ranch), David Steele (RISK!), and Justin Linville (HBO's Crashing, The Chris Gethard Show), 'Animal Show' is unmissable... and funny. 

This month:
Gary Richardson (SNL)
Clare O'Kane (Vice, Let it Be)
Rachel Sennott (High Maintenance)
Amy Zimmer (The Special Without Brett Davis)
Anthony Oberbeck (Holy Fuck Comedy Hour)
Sam Naismith (UCB, Funny or Die)

"If you’re looking for a comedy show with a community feel, Animal Show has what you need."
- Stellar Underground

"The show’s been lauded for its warm, community-centered vibes, so even if you’re going alone, you probably will not feel that awkward."
-Bedford + Bowery

Best Answer

A panel of original characters performed by the best comedic minds in the city attempt to answer obscure quiz questions correctly... or at least to the best of their ability.

 

Sunday, March 10 2019
Doors: 10:30pm, Show: 11:00pm
SubCulture
45 Bleecker St, New York, NY 10012

Joke Bath

PHILLY

Good Good’s popular, long-running stand-up freak show. Every Friday at 10 PM, marvel at an eclectic mix of comedic wunderkinds from across the country. FREE BEER for all in attendance.

Physical Education: The Logo Show or, “How I Learned to Love the Hoya”

Join Sam Naismith and Ben Stanton and a team of guests, experts and friends, as they embark on a mission to make sports fascinating.

This month: Sports Branding! 

Featuring guest panelists:


Aaron Jackson (The Opposition with Jordan Klepper)
Dewayne Perkins (The Break with Michelle Wolf)
Brielle Demirjian (UCB)
Branson Reese (Cartoon Network)

Maggie Widdoes (Dead Meet)

From the very beginning, sports teams have needed way to stand out, build pride and spread team spirit. Some have been blessed with timeless aesthetics, but many others remain in an endless search for something that doesn’t look like complete ass. 100 years in and mistakes have been made and traditions doubled-down on: Why is a team called the JAZZ in Utah? Why do the White Sox wear literal black sox? And what the hell is a Laker?

Come drink and laugh with us as we praise the good and roast the bad and test two teams—including working graphic designers and comedians who will let us know what’s what—with games and trivia about what we force our jocks to wear.

Mascots, logos, uniforms—we cover it all in a night that is going to inform, shock and ultimately dismay you.

 

 

Doors: 7:00pm
Show: 7:30pm
Tickets: $10 adv / $12 door 
21+

A Swan Song of Ice and Fire: A GoT Comedy Show

Valar Morghulis, Class of 2019! Orli Matlow, Warden of the Great White North, and Aliza Small, Lady of Mole’s Town, host New York’s funniest GoT fans as we bid farewell to our imaginary friends and enemies. It’s been the best four (plus five) years of our lives, and we’ll never forget the stabby, fiery, incesty memories. Join us for a graduation celebration and finale screening that will leave you laughing, yelling, and crying — in that order!

A finale without a comedy tribute is considered a dull affair.

Featuring:
Sam Naismith
Otter Lee
Carolyn Bergier
David Bluvband
Matt Strickland
Otto Fernandez
Bailey Swilley
Shannon Burke
Morgan Root
Ziyad Gower

Vital Joint The Dad Zone: The Final Zone

After being absolutely lambasted by critics from all over the world, the Dadzone is finally ending its historic 3-show run in scenic New York City.

For the final show Patrick Vermillion has collected some of the worst comics in New York to do alt comedy (as in alternative to comedy) for an audience of angry thieves.

Come witness the true trash fire of hell that is this wonderful show as you laugh at the pure insanity that is our collective existence and say goodbye to one of the least memorable comedians in NYC.

IHIH Super Secret Surprise Special Guests

Jason Pourne
Frank Marasco
Sam Naismith
Jo Roueiheb
Chris Zalis

The Collin Gossel Holiday Special 2

Exactly one year since the first, Collin Gossel welcomes you back to his home for a classic holiday special, complete with catchy tunes, yuletide characters, and Collin’s never-ending quest to banish Ajijag, the Christmas Demon who’s turned his life into a living hell.


Featuring my house guests:
Caroline Dangerface Lux
Harrison Bryan
Meg McDermott
Michael Bird
Josh Nasser
Katherine Dudas
Sam Naismith!

Come experience the Holiday joy!

FLIGHT FROM HELL

Air travel is always a shit show, but sometimes it's an actual living nightmare. This show goes inside the drama (and comedy?) you encounter every time you fly. Hosted by head flight attendant Brian Faas

Haunted Golf, with a ‘Z’

It is hundreds of years into the future. Somewhere, in the furthest reaches of outer space, a computer quietly blinks to life. LEDs flash and fan motors whirr in the dark of a long abandoned spaceship. It carries a thousand minds, preserved for the ages in software.

Fred Durst is dreaming of Golf.

Game of Thrones: The Final Bit Show

Are you excited for the final season of Game of Thrones? Join our common enemy the Night King for an evening of GoT comedy. Your favorite heroes, queens, villains, wildlings, and incestuous couples will make you laugh one last time before they all die.

UCB High's Morning Announcements

It's super lame that it's back to school already, but don't worry! The Morning Announcement Crew for UCB High (Dani, Brielle, Brandon, John, and Max) are broadcasting their first announcements of the new school year live from UCB Hell's Kitchen! There will be interviews with our school's sports stars about their upcoming seasons, a preview of the cafeteria's food calendar, important information from your student body president, and a lot of FUN (inside jokes that the teachers won't get ;-))

A Big Dumb Thing

"Summer in the City": a very on the nose homage to "Summer in the City" by The Lovin' Spoonful.

Dad Zone

Vital Joint is all jazzed to have The Dad Zone return to our basement home.

What is The Dad Zone?
The Dad Zone is a collection of Characters, Sketches, Skits, Videos and more all written and performed in one week by The Call Your Dad Comedy Collective. 

Tell me more!
The Dad Zone is a wild collection of some of the best performers in a dynamic lineup doing brand new material every month!

Vital Joint
109 Meserole St (Not Avenue!)
Brooklyn
4/20
Door at 8pm, Show at 8:30pm
$5
Cash Only
No BYOB
Like Vital Joint and subscribe to our Events: facebook.com/VitalJoint/Events

Werewolf Live!

The rules of Werewolf are simple: Werewolves try to kill the villagers. Villagers try to kill the werewolves. That's it.

 

Watch as UCB's top comedians play the party game Werewolf, live on stage. 

 

Hosted by RICHARD (Will Stephen, Zach Cherry, Paul Laudiero)

Featuring: 

Max Knoblauch

Sam Naismith

Clara Morris

Stephen Mann

Curtis Rutherford

Caroline Cotter

Luke Field

Dan Lee

Marshall Stratton

Physical Education: The World’s Worst Opening Night

Caveat presents
Physical Education: The World’s Worst Opening Night

Join Ben Stanton and Sam Naismith and a team of guests, experts and friends, as they embark on a mission to make sports fascinating. 

No more snoozing when dad’s got golf on. No more Super Bowl Sundays spent secure in a bunker. It’s time to learn about the obscure, the wild, the human, and the heartfelt. It’s time to learn to love both the player and the game!

This month’s game: BASEBALL

Enjoy a night of schadenfreude and fun as Varejao, with all of baseball history as its material, attempts to create the worst baseball game of all time. Joined by a panel of hilarious guests, come see how we construct the biggest sports fiasco imaginable!

Doors: 9:00pm, Show start: 9:30pm
Tickets: $10 adv / $12 door
21+

Please note: this event is mixed seated and standing room. Seats are first-come first-serve.

ABOUT THE HOSTS:

Ben Stanton is a comedian writing and performing all the time right here in New York City. He performs regularly with house teams at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and is hard at work adding untitled documents to a folder called, “TV Pilots?”. Ben graduated with degrees in acting from Boston University and the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts and can be seen all around town pretty much not using them at all.

Sam Naismith is a Philadelphia born writer/performer who moved to New York in 2014 and will die in New York in 2034. Sam is a contributor at Funny or Die but spends most of his time hacking the stock market. Sam was a member of legendary UCB Lloyd team, “Steakhouse”.

Ben and Sam are two parts of the sketch comedy and improv dynamo,Varejão, which also includes comedians Dan Lee, Bob Vulfov, and Max Knoblauch. Whaoh! That’s the team that’s hosting this very show! Varejao members’ work can be seen all over, including McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Funny or Die, The New Yorker, Mashable, UCB’s Lloyd Night and Harold Night, The monthly variety show Asian AF (hosted by Dan Lee) and Netflix.

Shorty Presents: Put 'Em Up II

Shorty returns with the best in sketch at a venue you'll love to visit.

Come out early and snag a drink on Our Wicked Lady’s beautiful rooftop before joining us at 5:30 for a screening of the top video creators in the city.

Featuring wonderful videos by:

Austin Rodrigues
Cannibal Milkshake
Derecho
Good Cop Great Cop
Justin Cassel
Tuff Boys
Varejao

FREE! 21+

A Night of Too Many Ides

Caveat presents
A Night of Too Many Ides

On March 15th 44BC, Julius Caesar was assassinated in the senate in betrayal from his best friend Brutus. On March 23rd 2018, join comedians from UCB, Reductress, Story Pirates, MTV, and more as they explore the history of the Ides as an omen and what it has meant for famous assassinations everywhere throughout history.


Featuring:
Mariah Smith, Lauren Ashley Smith, Rachel Smith (The Run Down with Robin Thede)
The Postmen Ft. Carmen ChristopherMatt Barats, and Anthony Oberbeck(The Annoyance, The Onion, High Maintenance)
Keisha Zollar (The Opposition with Jordan Klepper)
Varejão Ft. Sam NaismithMax Knoblauch, and Ben Stanton (UCB, Funny or Die, Netflix)
False Idol Ft. David Bluvband and Stephanie Pace (Marvelous Ms. Maisel, The Chris Gethard Show)
Jessy Morner-Ritt (Just a Show)
SUP Comedy ft. Fareeha KhanJesse RothStephanie PaceJuliet Pratherand Maddie Fischer (MTV, Comedy Central Showcase)

Doors: 8:30pm, Start time: 9:00pm
Price: $10
21+
 

What Are We Doing??

Live from his parents' basement, it's WHAT ARE WE DOING?? a chaotic improvised talk show for those anxious and hungry to be entertained.

Host Nicholas Guastella invites the stars, his house band, and musical guests for an evening of late night variety based on YOUR suggestions.

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS:

DEAD MEET (JAIME LUTZ AND MAGGIE WIDDOES)
DONALD ST. CHANG (DONALD CHANG)
MY PARENTS (ALI GORDON AND MARTY SCANLON)

FEATURING:

PAID ADVERTISEMENTS (from SAM NAISMITH & BEN STANTON)

THE WHAT ARE WE DOING?? HOUSE BAND

CHAMPIONS & THE STUDIOS (DARIAN LUSK & ANDREW BARBATO)

& musical performance by KAHIEM RIVERA

MTV Spring Break '99

Tomorrow night 11pm at UCB Hell's Kitchen A Big Dumb Thing presents "MTV Spring Break '99" hosted by Fred Durst (me) and Fred Durst (Caroline Cotter). With fresh tracks courtesy of DJ Skribble (Mike Camerlengo).

Expect full performances of several Limp Bizkit songs by Fred Durst and Fred Durst while normal people in normal bathing suits just walk around as if it is a fashion show.

Also expect weird nudity, whipped cream bikinis specifically because we all just saw Varsity Blues, and appearances by:

Zach Cherry
Ryan Haney
Nicholas Guercio
David Bluvband
Sam Naismith
AND MORE!!!

Herbert's Video Store & Rental

The shop is failing and the employees are hosting a comedy show to save it. Come see some townies and friends do their best comedy for you. Who knows, maybe Walter will come by to try and sell the boys some of his home made large budget hollywood films. This is going to be a spicy, ay caramba!

Featuring local townies such as:
The Postmen
(Anthony Oberbeck, Carmen Christopher, Matt Barats)
Kate Villa
Sam Naismith
Shelby Slauer

Music by Pat Wise

With:
Marika Zappas
& Tom McDonald

Herbert's Video Store & Rental 3/5/18

The shop is failing and the employees are hosting a comedy show to save it. Come see some townies and friends do their best comedy for you. Who knows, maybe Walter will come by to try and sell the boys some of his home made large budget hollywood films. This is going to be a spicy, ay caramba!

Featuring:
Alise Morales
Devon Courtney T Knight
Juliet Prather
The New York City Players 
(Kasey BorgerAlexandria IonaGabrielle Krumins)

Video by Varejão

With:
Marika Zappas
Tom McDonald

You might even see local handyman James Cross or town hunk Justice Kibbe

Looking for Love In All The Love Places - A Celebration of Love

Love experts Mike Camerlengo and Caroline Cotter are here just in time for Valentine's Day to show you that being alone IS NOT AN OPTION. 

 

They have a historic 100 percent success rate when it comes to helping clients find and lock down the Perfect Match (™). And to repay Mike and Caroline, some of their best clients will be joining them on stage tell their stories! From bang buddies to nursing home marriages, recently widowed hornballs to celibate trumpet players, they've all found love through Mike and Caroline. 

 

So come on out with a date or with friends or by yourself. Learn to love the love way! (™)

MAKE MY STUDENTS LAUGH

This is a show with improv, character, stand up, and sketch all performed for YOU....and a bunch of 17 year olds...who have never seen a comedy show before. 

Caroline Drew spent the past semester student teaching in two 11th grade English classes. When it comes to analyzing literature and writing papers, these students are good. But what about their relationship with the indie comedy scene in NYC? Who would teach them about THAT? 

Here are the professors: 

  • Mary Beth Barone 

  • Eric Feurer 

  • Ryland Duncan

  • Paul Laudiero

  • Stephen Mann

  • X Mayo 

  • Sophie Yalkezian

  • Max Knoblauch

  • Sam Naismith 

  • Ezequiel Asnaghi

Bob Hope Jr and The USO Present: Feats of Strength for The Troops

In the distant future, all wars are over. The Globalists won, a weather machine controls the climate from space, and people date their computers. However, The United States of America still has the largest army on the planet and The Troops need to be entertained. Bob Hope Jr (Sam Naismith) teams up with The USO to put on a great show for the men and women of the armed forces. Oh, yeah, he is also desperate to show The Troops how freaking strong he is.

Fuckville High's Annual Reunion

Six months ago, Principal Ratliff accidentally shot himself in the head and lost all of his memories. So the characters of Fuckville High are making this year's reunion special. All classes are invited in order to help Principal Ratliff get his memory back! 

 

Class of 2015, maybe you can vape in his face? 

 

Class of 2000, do you want to lie about how your life is still okay?  

 

Class of 1994 wanna talk about how fat/skinny/dead you are? 

 

Class of 1985 can you remind Principal Ratliff about that pneumonia epidemic? 

 

We are asking for all classes to attend. Hope to see you there! 

Various Monthly Shows

We're always up to some shit

Call Your Dad

Despite all odds and advice, Patrick Vermillion's Call Your Dad is BACK at Legion Bar and holy fucking shit is this going to be the year that we will all remember (fondly).

Please join charismatic host and emotionally unavailable Aquarius Patrick Vermillion as he brings the best damn comics in the world to the stage. "Best in the world" you say, "Isn't that kind of an exaggeration." Well it's actually not. These are the best in the world, Billy Eichner is a hack.

This month's lineup:

Eleanor Lewis (Sexy baby, Host of the YouYube's Deluxe College Tours with Squeege O'Bannon) 
Perri Gross (CW11)
Collin Gossel (Host of the Annual Beavercreek Show Choir Classic, Snacks! Musical Improv)
Lynsey Bonell (Mug)
Fareeha Khan ('Sup)
Shelby Slauer (Funny Or Die)
Caroline Reedy (Funny Or Die, Josh Nasser)
Jim Murtagh (Be Good, Big Andrew Films)
Sam Naismith (UCB, Funny Or Die, RNC, NBA)
Jake Letizia (A Ghost Story)
Mallory Muratore (First Time Property Owners)
Justin Linville (Chris Gethard Show, Annoyance Theater)
Featuring:
a film review by Seth Alkon Finkelstein (The Annoyance)

Banned from the show: Josh Nasser (infamous joke stealer, God) 

Hosted By Patrick Vermillion (HBO, ABC, NBC, FOX, FOX Sports, ESPN 2, Disney XD, Comedy Central [app only], PBS, History Channel, MTV 2)

Unite The Justice League

Superman got his ass kicked by a big grey monster and is dead as hell. His death leaves Batman (Sam Naismith) on his own and journeying the globe to find other superfreaks that are horny for protecting planets.  Some metahumans he meets are just barely competent enough to join the Justice League. Others, you could argue, should not even be allowed to live. If you see this show, you will not have to pay to see the movie, GUARANTEED!   

Fear Bazaar

Another year has arrived, and on the Thursday before Halloween Mommy and Daddy host all of your fears inside of their house.  A Chamber of Modern Terrors and Social Anxieties that you will consume through an immersive theatre experience.  Altered Reality, Interactive Spectacles and Twisted Testimonials as a Vortex of Fear opens up and devours everything. 
Are you afraid of the DARK? You will become Darkness. 
Are you afraid of COMMITMENT? Your boy/girl/friend is here with a justice of the peace. 
Are you afraid of SPIDERS? We have a spider. 
Are you afraid of DISAPPOINTING YOUR PARENTS?  Too bad.  We invited them, and they don't get what any of this is. 
Are you afraid of HOMOSEXUALITY? We are giving out free samples, and its you.  
Are you afraid of EXPRESSING YOUR OPINION? We will make you write an op-ed or something. 
Are you afraid of BUTTS? Look out behind you, our finger is in yours.  
ALL OF YOUR FEARS ARE INSIDE OF THIS HOUSE ALL OF YOUR FEARS ARE INSIDE OF THIS HOUSE ALL OF YOUR FEARS ARE INSIDE OF THIS HOUSE.  
Also, there will be comedy, and this show is 95% cheaper than Sleep No More.

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© 2018 Sam Naismith